65 Hilarious Chemistry Jokes and Puns

Science, and especially chemistry, can feel intimidating. One way to lighten the mood for your students is with a good chemistry joke or pun! Are they cheesy? Absolutely, but that’s part of the fun. Regardless of whether you are a chemist, a teacher, or a student struggling to memorize the periodic table of the elements, we think you will enjoy these silly and clever chemistry jokes and puns.

Our Favorite Chemistry Jokes and Puns

1. Salt made a pun joke and it was sodium funny.

2. What did one charged atom say to the other?

I got my ion you.

3. I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

4. Did you hear the tea that oxygen and magnesium are a couple?

5. I am not out of chemistry jokes. I have a couple more.

6. All the good chemistry jokes argon.

7. Forget hydrogen, you’re my number-one element.

8. What did the student say after someone threw sodium chloride at them?

That’s a salt!

9. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide?

NO!

10. What did the chemist say when asked if he had any sodium hypobromite?

NaBrO.

11. Since H2O is the formula for water, H2O cubed must be the formula for ice.

12. Why was the electron small?

Because it has a low charge.

13. A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender answered, “For you? No charge.”

14. How often should you tell a chemistry joke?

Periodically.

15. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

16. Why aren’t atoms trustworthy?

They make up everything.

17. What kind of dog did the chemist have?

A laboratory retriever.

18. What do you do with a sick chemist?

Helium.

19. What do you call a clown in jail?

A silicon.

20. What do you call two diamonds out to dinner?

A carbon dating.

21. What’s another name for Silver Surfer and Iron Man?

Instant alloys.

22. How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker?

He picked it up before it was cool.

23. Why didn’t the chemists work out as a couple?

They had no chemistry.

24. Why did carbon and hydrogen become fast friends?

They really bonded.

25. How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.

26. Where did the chemist put his dirty dishes?

In the zinc.

27. Why are noble gasses lonely?

They’re the most stable alone.

28. The chemist was pulled over for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car. He was booked on a salt and battery.

29. What do solids, liquids, and gasses have in common?

They all matter.

30. Why did ammonia order a pumpkin latte?

Because it’s basic.

31. Superman’s favorite element is krypton.

32. Why did the chemist like the book about helium so much?

He just couldn’t put it down.

33. Why did everyone turn to the chemist to solve their problems?

They always had solutions.

34. What is HIJKLMNO?

H2O.

35. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar.

36. Why was the comedian bad at writing jokes about the periodic table?

He wasn’t in his element.

37. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the … precipitate.

38. What did the chemist say when she found two new isotopes of helium?

HeHe.

39. Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all of his friends argon.

40. Why do chemists like nitrates?

They’re cheaper than day rates.

41. What do you call someone who says a lithium and argon atom are bonded?

A Li-Ar

42. What stops people from telling chemistry jokes?

They are terrified of the reaction.

43. What should you do with dead chemists?

Barium.

44. What do you call a plant that grew in a lab?

A chemistree.

45. What happens to nitrogen when it’s exposed to the sun?

It becomes daytrogen.

46. What do you call an ion that raps?

Flouride, duh (Flo Rida).

47. Did the chemist see the glass as half full or half empty?

Neither. They saw it as half full of liquid and half full of air.

48. The entire lab smelled like rotten eggs. Everyone was sulfering.

49. Two atoms were walking down the beach. One said, “Hey, I think I lost an electron.” The other asked, “Are you sure?” The first said, “Yes, I’m positive.”

50. Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?

Because it is in a ground state.

51. Why did the chemist love club music?

They love when the base drops.

52. What do you call an upbeat 2,000-pound chemist?

A pro-ton.

53. The name’s bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.

54. Want to hear a potassium joke?

K!

55. What is a tooth in a glass of water?

A one-molar solution.

56. Why was the organic chemistry teacher’s life troublesome?

They often find themselves in alkynes of trouble!

57. What was the chemist’s favorite holiday song?

Oh Chemistree, Oh Chemistree.

58. Where do amino acids go to pray?

The cysteine chapel.

59. Titanium is the most amorous metal because when it gets hot, it’ll combine with anything.

60. Which element is treated as God in organic chemistry?

Carbon, because it is omnipresent in all organic compounds.

61. What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid.

62. What do you get when you cross an element and a Norse god?

Thorium.

63. What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?

Oxidants happen.

64. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated, but I have several degrees.

65. What should you do when you run out of chemistry jokes?

Zinc of new ones.

What are your favorite chemistry jokes and puns? Come share in our We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook!

Plus, check out 97 Teacher Jokes That Make Us Laugh Out Loud.