Dear We Are Teachers,
I loved my first three years of teaching (2016-2019). It was hard being new, but I felt like I was doing a good job, that I had parentsâ trust, and that I had good relationships with my students. Since the pandemic, Iâve felt ineffective, like Iâm âthe enemy,â and that my students are totally checked out. When I think about throwing in the towel, though, I think back to how much I loved those first three years. Is there any way to rekindle the love I had for this job?
âAll Out of Love
Dear A.O.O.L.,
The past several years have been hard on teachers across the board. Every grade, every age, every subject. Full stop. So first, know that youâre not alone. Even teachers with 20+ years of experience are reporting feeling this way.
To me, itâs a great sign that you loved your first three years. For a lot of teachersâmyself includedâthose were some of the toughest. Still, itâs hard to be in any job when youâre not at your best.
Start by pinpointing other professional changes that may be contributing to teaching being harder. Did you lose a planning period? Get an additional prep? Are you a supervising teacher or mentor? Did you lose a teacher bestie or gain a bummer team member? When a whole situation feels overwhelming, itâs good to pinpoint the areas you (or your principal) have control over.
Also, think back to your first three years about your happiest professional moments. A successful class project? An amazing field trip or class experience? A certain routine that brought you or students joy? An incredibly cool cross-curricular unit? See if you can re-create or build off those experiences to create new ones.
Then think of small ways to build positivity into your day. For example:
- These printables for the coolest tear-off posters or positive Post-Its
- Build positive school culture with a school-wide read-aloud
- Consider a fun new routine like attendance questions, desk pets, or silent ball
- Big projects with big payoff: a school garden, NaNoWriMo, partnering with senior citizens, or other service projects
And finally, understand that there are ebbs and flows in any career. You certainly donât have to stick it out, but it sounds like teaching was really meaningful to you. See how this year goes. The teachers I know are sayingâhesitantly, and while knocking on woodâthat so far itâs been smoother sailing. Might be worth staying on board.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I have a sixth grader who is very sweet but really struggles with talking too much. Not to his peersâto me! He loves to talk to me during downtime and recess, but even the most cut-and-dried anecdote takes ages. Simple âyes/noâ questions in class will sometimes result in a minutes-long response. I can tell his classmates are frustrated, but the student doesnât seem to notice. Iâve started interrupting him so we donât lose instructional time, but he seems hurt each time, which makes me think he hasnât gotten the social cue. How do I curb this sweet-but-disruptive behavior?
âplease Say Less
Dear P.S.L.,
I saw this student personality trait pop up in several schools. Each time it was in a very specific family circumstance: a miracle child that took years and often grueling fertility battles to conceive. Once I realized this pattern, it made sense to me that parents of miracle children would hang on to every word, soak in every story, and welcome every interruptionâno matter how long. Knowing that made it easier for me to be compassionate.
That said, I donât know for certain this is the case with your student. But I think itâs important to consider that, for whatever reason (maybe heâs just a chatty fella!), this is a behavior that is the norm for him. Be careful to keep your redirection as âwe have different expectations at home versus at schoolâ and not âthis is a bad behavior we need to nip, like, yesterday.â
First, ask your student for some examples of procedures we do differently at home than at school, e.g., eating a meal, asking a question, going from place to place. Afterward, ask your student why we have different rules and procedures. Your student will probably arrive at efficiency, safety, fairness, and things like that.
Then say, âThis is the same reason that we have different expectations around talking at school. Iâm not just talking about youâI do, too! When Iâm at home with my family, I like to tell them just about everything. But would it be OK if I was on the phone with my family all day at school? Of course not! We wouldnât get any learning done.
âI love having you in my class and hearing what you have to share with me. But at school, we have limited time togetherâand we both have jobs to do.
âI want you to work on something this week for me. See if you can watch how long other kids keep their responses or stories. Try to match that. If thereâs ever anything you really want to add or tell me, write me a note and Iâd be happy to read it. Next week, weâll check in to see how youâre doing. Sound good?â
After a week, if heâs still struggling, reach out to the parent (keep the emphasis on the impact itâs having on learning and your concern for his social development). Set up time to practice appropriate responses. Create fun drills to practice school-appropriate speaking and listening. For example, summarize The Three Little Pigs in under a minute. Or respond with just âyesâ or ânoâ to a huge list of fun questions. Respond to my story about what I did over the weekend with a question or comment instead of an immediate âHereâs what I did.â Â
Honestly, Iâm realizing we should just go ahead and make social conversation a required subject in school. Right? Or at least a requirement to be on dating apps.
 Dear We Are Teachers,
Each year, the fourth grade teachers hold an election for a class president. We tie it to our social studies unit on government and do significant prepping with the kids on a social-emotional level. After this yearâs election, I got the following email from a parent the morning after the election:
âDear ____,
 [Student] came home devastated that she did not get class president. Sheâs been sobbing ALL. NIGHT. She worked really hard on her posters and speeches, and she is certain she got votes from at least 14 of her peers (all the girls, plus two boys she knows from church), which should have definitely given her a majority. Can you scan the votes or take a picture so we can see them?â
Uh ⊠help.
âNot Certified in Election Fraud
Dear N.C.I.E.F.,
LOL.
Absolutely not, Donna.
The best thing to do is get your administratorâs guidance on this since it sounds like sheâs metaphorically ready to burn the place down. Your principal will likely have specific guidelines on what to say and do. Plus, this needs to be on their radar as a parent with ⊠interesting requests.
I think you owe her an acknowledgment of her daughterâs disappointment, a brief summary of the unit plan, the learning goals for students, and the social-emotional prep teachers do to keep things fair and kind.
I do not think you owe her receipts for a fourth grade presidential election.
Iâm laughing again.
Donât let this lady get you down. In the epic words of my former boss at our small townâs bakery: âYou know, some peopleâs milk of kindness done turned to bonnyclabber.â
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
Iâm a new sixth grade teacher. Iâm loving this year so far except for one thing: Thereâs a bully on my team. During our weekly planning meeting, any comment or suggestion I make is immediately dismissed with, âThat will never work,â or âThatâs not how we do things here,â often with a joke about how young or inexperienced or overoptimistic I am. Another teacher on my team agrees with me that sheâs rude to me, but sheâs afraid of her too! How do I stand up to her?
âSUFFERING FROM DOORMAT FATIGUE
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