Every discipline has its share of jargon, and some of that is certainly necessary. But is it just me, or is education a little out of control? There are plenty of phrases that donāt make any sense outside of an education context (or occasionally, not even in one), and the use of acronyms is, in my opinion, egregious. (āAre you DIBELing today?ā) And then there are just some words that drive you nuts. Therefore, I give you my (by no means exhaustive) list of words teachers never want to hear again.
āRigorā
Look, I realize that itās important for educational experiences to be intellectually challenging, but I think weāve taken it a bit too far. (Donāt get me started on rigor in kindergarten.) And maybe I watch too many crime procedural shows, but this word just makes me think of dead bodies.
āPivotā
I cannot hear āpivotā and not have Ross Geller from āFriendsā echoing in my ears. And itās extra painful because I know it means Iām going to have to throw out everything I did and start all over again.
āSelf-careā
Donāt get me wrong, Iām all about teachers doing what they need to take care of themselves. Iām not a fan, however, of admin using the term flippantly. Like, donāt tell me to practice self-care in one breath and then deny my discretionary leave in the next.
āFriendsā
Iām probably going to offend some people here, but I canāt get on board with calling my students āfriends.ā Iām sure you all have your own opinions around addressing students. In the great wide world of teachers, there are plenty of people who hate ākiddos, āscholars,ā and āpupils.ā So there.Ā
āFidelityā
It gets thrown around all the time and much to our collective chagrin, because nothing says āwe donāt trust teachersā like the word āfidelity.ā Look, I get that a research-based program wonāt be as effective if we step too far away from its original design. But we also deserve to have our professionalism respected if we need to adapt to the needs of our students.
āUnpackā
Um, can my standards just come unpacked in the first place?
āStakeholdersā
Code for: people whose opinions matter more than teachersā.
āMondayā
For obvious reasons.
āIntentionalā
Oh, Iām so glad you told me because Iāve been doing all this teaching accidentally.Ā
āRobustā
Honestly, this one just gives me a fit of the giggles. I feel like itās the educational equivalent of āmoist.ā I know it can mean anything from hardy and vigorous to strong and effective. In any case, Iām much more likely to use it to describe wine than a curriculum or approach.Ā
āPedagogyā
This term refers to the theory and practice of teaching. Itās the stuff of teachersā daily lives. But dare I say itās also a tad pretentious? Like, letās just call it teaching, no?
āData-drivenā
Letās take a ādeeper diveā and ādrill downā while weāre at it.
āAlignmentā
Tell me Iām going to be putting sticky notes on a larger sheet of sticky notes without telling me Iām going to be putting sticky notes on a larger sheet of sticky notes.
āGranularā
This word makes me think of zits. I have no explanation.
āInitiativeā
As in a new one. As in more on your plate without taking anything off.
āTransparentā
This word gives me a serious case of āI donāt believe you.ā
āCohortā
Dude, itās just a group. Also āclusterā because I hear a swear at the end of it.
āStaffultyā
I know! Letās take two words and make a non-word! Hanitizer, craftivity, and the granddaddy of them all: gymacafetorium.
āTableā
Iām going to put a pin in this or put it in the parking lot. Thatās eduspeak for weāre never going to get to it.
āStick-to-itivenessā
Of all the words I hate, itās the words that arenāt words that I hate the most. Especially when thereās an actual existing word that means the same thing. āTenacity,ā anyone?
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